Monday, May 18, 2015
Hey, diary.
I’m dead. Ballet practice today was way too intense and my feet are completely wrecked. But that’s not what I wanted to tell you…
It happened.
Fuck, I’m not a virgin anymore!
And you know what’s weird? It was actually good. Part of me is floating, feeling light in a way I can’t explain. But there’s another side screaming, making me feel a little regretful: “You idiot, why’d you have to give it up to him right away?”
2:15 p.m.
I was in Carol’s room, chatting with a bunch of people on UOL’s messenger and gossiping with her at the same time. Light vibe, zero worries. Her favorite playlist was playing in the background. I was just there, soaking it in.
Then reality knocked on the door.
The door opened without anyone knocking. Diego showed up with that smug grin on his face and the same perverted glint in his eyes as always—that predator look, like he wanted to devour me. He leaned against the doorframe all casual, looked inside waiting to be noticed, and like he owned me, ordered:
“Come to my room. My mom just left.”
Carol shot me a death glare, almost pissed. She grabbed my wrist and said real serious:
“Rafa, are you sure about this?”
Even after everything, I still hadn’t grown a backbone. I don’t know how to explain it. The more he treated me like that, even when it made me sad, the more I went along with it. I couldn’t really understand the fascination that let him dominate me like that.
“I am, cousin…”
I said it with a reassuring but awkward smile. Embarrassed by my own decision, even knowing it was a shitty choice and that Carol disapproved. Poor thing, she was always the one I ran to after I fucked up. And the worst part: she always warned me ahead of time. Always said it was gonna go bad.
I got up and followed him.
Diego walked down the hall and went into his room. He waited for me at the door with that same look, that hazel-eyed shine that trapped me and wrecked me at the same time. The second I stepped through, he shut the door behind me and turned the lock. The sharp click echoed in the silence, not giving us time to say a single word.
His hand came in strong, grabbed the back of my neck and shoved me against the wall. His whole body pressed into mine. Before I could get a word out, he was already kissing me hard, his hot tongue invading my mouth without asking. I moaned against his lips.
The hand on my neck slid forward and closed lightly around my throat. He didn’t really squeeze, just enough for me to feel his fingers there, controlling my breathing. My heart took off. My traitor pussy was already soaked from that alone.
Between breaths, he murmured against my lips:
“I’m fucking crazy about you, Rafa… you mess with me in a crazy way.”
Hearing that made my whole body vibrate. God, I wanted to believe it…
“You’re mine… only mine…”
He yanked my white top off over my head in one quick move. Then he pressed me back against the wall. His mouth went hot down my neck and straight to my tits. His tongue circled my nipple slow, teasing, before sucking hard. I arched my back, moaning low, fingers buried in his hair, pulling without even realizing it.
“I’m yours… I wanna be only yours… nobody else’s… I love you so much…”
My voice came out choked, almost breathless.
He lifted me by the hips like I weighed nothing and threw me on the bed. The mattress sank under the impact. I pulled my shorts off myself, hands a little shaky, anxious and embarrassed at the same time about being so exposed in front of him.
He climbed on top of me, kissing my tits, my stomach, sliding down slow until he licked along the edge of my panties. He pushed the fabric aside with his finger and slid one inside me with a slowness that made me hold my breath. I moaned low, legs spreading on their own, my whole body reacting before my brain could catch up.
“Fuck, you’re so wet…”
His voice came out low, right in my ear. His hot breath brushed my neck and made me shiver all over. His fingers curled inside, hitting exactly the spot that drove me insane, my body twisting on the bed by itself. He pressed right on my clit and I let out a moan so loud Carol probably heard it from her room. I couldn’t hold it in.
“Yesterday you promised you’d be my little slut. Remember that?”
“I do…” I answered, voice cracking, chest tight with excitement and nerves.
“So say it now. I wanna hear it. Promise you’re gonna be my obedient little slut.”
He twisted his fingers slow, torturing me on purpose, keeping me right on the edge.
“I promise… I’ll be your obedient little slut…” I let out between moans, almost no air left.
Then he dropped down all at once, buried his face in my pussy and started eating me out like he was starving. His tongue hot and relentless, like he wanted to devour me whole. His fingers didn’t stop, curling inside while his mouth sucked and licked my clit without mercy. He stayed down there forever, devouring me, pushing me closer and closer to the edge. I couldn’t control my body anymore. Moans were pouring out loud, legs shaking around his head.
When the orgasm hit, it was violent. I came hard, my whole body convulsing, my pussy clenching around his fingers in spasms. Tears slid down the corners of my eyes—from pleasure, from intensity, from everything mixed together. I cried softly while my body kept shaking. He lifted his face just enough to look at me, but his fingers kept rubbing my soaked clit, dragging out every wave, making me feel every last tremor.
My body was still twitching when he climbed on top of me all at once. His weight pinned me to the bed. He grabbed my face with one hand and made me look him in the eyes. He had that hungry look, like he’d just destroyed me and still wanted more.
And then he said, staring straight into my eyes:
“Now you’re gonna be mine for real.”
My heart jumped into my throat.
I thought about asking him to put on a condom, but there wasn’t time. Before I knew it he was already on top of me. His hard cock pressing against my entrance, hot, throbbing, pushing to get inside.
I closed my eyes and let it happen. Tried to relax, but I was tense as fuck, scared. Scared of the pain… and scared of giving myself over to him completely like that. That scared me almost as much as the pain.