Tuesday, March 31, 2015
8:30 PM
I was in my room, sprawled on the bed on my back, staring at the ceiling and dying of anxiety. Carol had spent the whole day with her boyfriend and I wouldn’t stop blowing up her phone with messages, begging her to come over because there was something urgent I had to tell her.
Then the phone vibrated. It was her: “I’m on my way.” My heart skipped a beat.
Minutes later the bedroom door flew open and Carol burst in, throwing herself on top of me, all hyped up and screaming, laughing as she fell beside me, hair all messy and face red from running.
—TELL ME EVERYTHING!!!!
I cracked up while she got comfortable next to me, eyes shining with curiosity. Once she finally calmed down, I started telling her everything that went down with Lipe at school: the way he looked at me before coming over, how he grabbed me hard and shoved me against the wall, and how that kiss heated up fast, fire spreading through my whole body. It was this weird, strong horniness that caught me off guard and left me breathless and confused.
She kept cutting me off, wanting every detail:
—So, did he grab your waist? Kiss your neck? Go straight for tongue?
I repeated some parts two, three times, laughing at her face. After she was satisfied, I took a deep breath. Because even though I liked kissing Lipe, Diego still owned my thoughts. He was still the real prize, and I wasn’t gonna settle for some lame consolation trophy.
—Cuz… — I started, kinda hesitant. — I need your help with something, but don’t start bitching before you hear me out, okay?
She gave me that sideways look, already bracing for drama.
—Spit it out.
I bit my lip, heart pounding.
—I want… like… a boyfriend.
She let out this surprised laugh, half shocked, half amused:
—Hold up, you crazy bitch! You just had your first kiss and now you want a boyfriend? Don’t tell me you’re already crushing on Lipe…
I laughed but shook my head, feeling embarrassed and excited at the same time.
—It’s not that, let me explain. — I took a deep breath, trying to figure out how to say it. Then I just said it: — I want a boyfriend… to make Diego jealous.
She didn’t say a word. Just stared at me, eyes wide, processing the bomb I dropped. I watched the smile disappear from her face, her expression getting serious until she hit me with that disapproving look I knew way too well.
—Rafa… — she sighed. — I’ve told you a thousand times. Forget my brother.
I ignored it and pushed:
—I was thinking about Felipe. What do you think of him?
Carol burst out laughing and shook her head.
—That ain’t gonna fly, girl. Diego’s gonna look at him and see he’s just some kid who doesn’t even come close to competing with him… — she turned to me, arms crossed with that sarcastic vibe. — See how your idea is straight-up bullshit?
I sat there biting my lower lip hard, thinking it over. Deep down I knew Carol was right—she always was. But I needed something that would actually fuck with Diego, or he’d never really see me. Best case, if I got lucky, I’d get some stolen kisses in the dark… just like with Felipe.
After a long silence, Carol said, kinda deflated:
—There’s Rodrigo… he’s cute and he’s single.
—Is he older? — I asked, curious.
—Yeah, around Murilo’s age… — Carol sat up in front of me, getting into full lecture mode. — And he’s a good guy, a real man, you know? Not those dumbass boys from school. Who knows, you might even end up actually dating for real!
I made a face, because actually dating wasn’t the plan. I just wanted to make Diego jealous. I could already picture it: me in the passenger seat of Rodrigo’s car, waving bye to Diego. I laughed to myself at the image.
—Wait, I’m calling Murilo.
Carol put the phone on speaker and called her boyfriend, who was friends with the guy. She laid out the whole idea, saying I needed someone to fake being my boyfriend, and asked him to talk to Rodrigo and see if he’d be down.
Murilo didn’t seem to believe it at first. He’s pretty jealous and started firing off a bunch of questions. I jumped in to explain better: that I really just wanted an older guy to make Diego jealous. Once he got it, he laughed and said he’d talk to his friend and pass along my number.
When we hung up, we were both on edge. I kept biting my nails, thinking: “Is he gonna go for it?” Every notification gave me butterflies.
Then my phone vibrated.
We both looked at the screen and screamed so loud my mom came running.
—Sorry, mom!
—Sorry, auntie!
As soon as the door shut, we dove for the phone, fighting to read it first. Rodrigo’s message was all polite and curious:
“Hi, I’m Rodrigo, Murilo’s friend. He gave me your number. Can I call you?”
My heart raced. I said yeah, and seconds later he was calling.
I felt this chill run up my stomach, a mix of anxiety and excitement that gave me goosebumps. I looked at the screen and thought: “No turning back now.”
I answered with a shaky voice. After some basic small talk, we decided to switch to texting because I said I felt more comfortable typing. I asked if he used Skype and gave him my email.
When I hung up, phone still warm in my hand, this weird feeling hit me: this story was gonna drag on for a while.